I am blessed to be posting this today

AustinForester · 08-27-08, 12:50 AM

Ok, this is a bit of a long read, and it might be a little depressing, so if you dont know me, or dont care about me, GTFO and stop reading now. I am only writing this as a way to expel some of my thoughts.

Some of you might know about my legal issues ive been dealing with for the last 2 years, thats not the issue, its part of it, but a small part. After months and months of pressure from probation to go to meetings, make payments, go to counseling, it began to build up. On top of that, i picked up a extra work load at work, and im not getting paid anymore for it. I cant hang out with my good friends from highschool anymore cause all they do is smoke weed and drink beer every night. I couldnt be around that. Well on monday, i failed a UA at probation, for the 2nd time. I smoked some weed last week to releave some stress, now that i look at it, i would have been better off just going and pullin one out instead lol.

well after my PO telling me theres a good chance im looking at jail time, or going to inpatient treatment. I kinda lost it. everything seemed null and void. i did not want to be here anymore. Not cause i cant smoke weed, not cause im in debt, not cause the extra work load, not cause of the friends i do not have. But all of them combined. yesterday, at 11:45am i sat down, smoked a cigarette, and started writing. To my mom, my caregiver, my sole provider.

i was writing a suicide note.

I finished my cigarette, walked inside, rigged up an electrical cord across my door way, then tried to hang myself. After putting the loop around my neck, and slouching down on it. i blacked out. I woke up, 45 minutes later when my mom came home from lunch, soaking wet, in my bed, with different boxers on. I do not know what happened after i blacked out, i cant help but thing someone or something, made that cord snap. someone made me get in bed. someone was looking out for me, so
meone or something saved my life.

My best friend died on 7.2.2004 after being hit by a car. I cant help but think it was him that saved my life. My mom is helping me get some counseling, cause apprently there are some depression issues we havent seen.

I do not want to try it again, if it didnt work the first time, its proof im meant to be here for something. Other than my mom, and my boss, i havent told anyone else about this. But opening up a bit helps alot, and i know my AL.com friends will always be there for me.

cheerish every minute of your life, Since yesterday at 11:45am, i know i have began to appreciate life. Take a drive with the windows down, no radio, listen to nature. Go sit in the park, listen to yourself. I regret holding everything in until it bursted like it did yesterday.

i will most likely be entering a 30day inpatient treatment program, which i think is stupid for just weed, but apparently if i cant not smoke while on probation, i might as well have a problem, and if treatment keeps me out of the pokey, i welcome it with open arms.

Thank you for reading, i love you all

91LS 3.5 · 08-27-08, 12:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AustinForester

Ok, this is a bit of a long read, and it might be a little depressing, so if you dont know me, or dont care about me, GTFO and stop reading now. I am only writing this as a way to expel some of my thoughts.

Some of you might know about my legal issues ive been dealing with for the last 2 years, thats not the issue, its part of it, but a small part. After months and months of pressure from probation to go to meetings, make payments, go to counseling, it began to build up. On top of that, i picked up a extra work load at work, and im not getting paid anymore for it. I cant hang out with my good friends from highschool anymore cause all they do is smoke weed and drink beer every night. I couldnt be around that. Well on monday, i failed a UA at probation, for the 2nd time. I smoked some weed last week to releave some stress, now that i look at it, i would have been better off just going and pullin one out instead lol.

well after my PO telling me theres a good chance im looking at jail time, or going to inpatient treatment. I kinda lost it. everything seemed null and void. i did not want to be here anymore. Not cause i cant smoke weed, not cause im in debt, not cause the extra work load, not cause of the friends i do not have. But all of them combined. yesterday, at 11:45am i sat down, smoked a cigarette, and started writing. To my mom, my caregiver, my sole provider.

i was writing a suicide note.

I finished my cigarette, walked inside, rigged up an electrical cord across my door way, then tried to hang myself. After putting the loop around my neck, and slouching down on it. i blacked out. I woke up, 45 minutes later when my mom came home from lunch, soaking wet, in my bed, with different boxers on. I do not know what happened after i blacked out, i cant help but thing someone or something, made that cord snap. someone made me get in bed. someone was looking out for me, so
meone or something saved my life.

My best friend died on 7.2.2004 after being hit by a car. I cant help but think it was him that saved my life. My mom is helping me get some counseling, cause apprently there are some depression issues we havent seen.

I do not want to try it again, if it didnt work the first time, its proof im meant to be here for something. Other than my mom, and my boss, i havent told anyone else about this. But opening up a bit helps alot, and i know my AL.com friends will always be there for me.

cheerish every minute of your life, Since yesterday at 11:45am, i know i have began to appreciate life. Take a drive with the windows down, no radio, listen to nature. Go sit in the park, listen to yourself. I regret holding everything in until it bursted like it did yesterday.

i will most likely be entering a 30day inpatient treatment program, which i think is stupid for just weed, but apparently if i cant not smoke while on probation, i might as well have a problem, and if treatment keeps me out of the pokey, i welcome it with open arms.

Thank you for reading, i love you all

WOW ....I'm at a loss for words.

l4zy415 · 08-27-08, 01:00 AM

Wow man, broke my heart for what you did. I think your friend that passed away (RIP) saved you. You gotta live life to the fullest. You only live once. Please, for the love of God, don't do that again. If you need to talk about something, we got your back. I know your a strong person with a strong heart, you should be happy man. Keep it real mayne. From one love to another, brotha.

Vic Cardenas · 08-27-08, 01:03 AM

Keep your head up man. It will only be better after you're out of trouble.

I was in the same situation when I was 18. I was on probation and I failed a UA. I was looking at some serious time and a loooooong extention of probation. Long story short I got lucky. I went to the can a few times after that but nothing serious. Just keep your nose clean and eventually all this shit will go away. Pay off your debt as best as you can and you'll be much happier.

I've never been to a rehab but if it's anything like jail then books, books, books are your friend. Before you know it you'll be out.

Escobar · 08-27-08, 01:04 AM

I don't know you or your story dude. But I'm sure glad you're still here man. Nothing is worth giving up your life. Tragedies in our life mold us to become what we are. Hang in there man, all of these shall pass, and maybe you can look back at it one day and laugh about it with your friends.

Smokinfastlegend · 08-27-08, 01:13 AM

Woah Wyaat, im glad your still here! Someone was looking out for you. you know the forum will hear you out if you need it. Vent to your venting content. Just remember, we are here for you. As far as your debt, we all get into a little bit of debt, but there is nothing in life worth killing yourself over. As far as depression goes, it is a serious business and should not be taken lightly. Wyaat, there are people here for you, dont hesitate to ask for help.

AustinForester · 08-27-08, 01:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by l4zy415

Wow man, broke my heart for what you did. I think your friend that passed away (RIP) saved you. You gotta live life to the fullest. You only live once. Please, for the love of God, don't do that again. If you need to talk about something, we got your back. I know your a strong person with a strong heart, you should be happy man. Keep it real mayne. From one love to another, brotha.

thanks man, i cant help but think it was Cody that saved me. i have never really been a religious person, my nephew was born with a combonation of sever diseases that the chances are about 1 in 33million to get it. he is severly handicapped and has several severe seizures a day. What kinda god would do that to a poor child?!? but i cant help but thing of fate or devine intervention here. something stopped it from happening.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vic Cardenas

Keep your head up man. It will only be better after you're out of trouble.

I was in the same situation when I was 18. I was on probation and I failed a UA. I was looking at some serious time and a loooooong extention of probation. Long story short I got lucky. I went to the can a few times after that but nothing serious. Just keep your nose clean and eventually all this shit will go away. Pay off your debt as best as you can and you'll be much happier.

I've never been to a rehab but if it's anything like jail then books, books, books are your friend. Before you know it you'll be out.

thanks man, it really sucks that someone can tell you what you can put in your body eh? i dont believe in it. But im under their rule. So i guess i need to abide by it

Quote:

Originally Posted by Escobar

I don't know you or your story dude. But I'm sure glad you're still here man. Nothing is worth giving up your life. Tragedies in our life mold us to become what we are. Hang in there man, all of these shall pass, and maybe you can look back at it one day and laugh about it with your friends.

Thanks man! really appreciate the kind words

AustinForester · 08-27-08, 01:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smokinfastlegend

Woah Wyaat, im glad your still here! Someone was looking out for you. you know the forum will hear you out if you need it. Vent to your venting content. Just remember, we are here for you. As far as your debt, we all get into a little bit of debt, but there is nothing in life worth killing yourself over. As far as depression goes, it is a serious business and should not be taken lightly. Wyaat, there are people here for you, dont hesitate to ask for help.

thanks joey. Im crying right now just realizing the people i would have missed. Thank you all so much.

whyteLegend · 08-27-08, 01:34 AM

And here I am thinking I am having the worst day..
Remember this Wyaat life is a journey not a destination..

AustinForester · 08-27-08, 01:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whyteLegend

And here I am thinking I am having the worst day..
Remember this Wyaat life is a journey not a destination..

it's Wyatt. Jeez u people never heard of wyatt Earp?

Thanks for the words none the less

Smokinfastlegend · 08-27-08, 01:49 AM

blame it on me, i just spell wierd

nino418 · 08-27-08, 01:50 AM

dude, whoa. Im glad your ok. remeber, sometimes you go through some rough times in life, but you have a whole 50+ years ahead of you. What doesn't kill you only makes you stonger.

91LS 3.5 · 08-27-08, 01:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nino418

dude, whoa. Im glad your ok. remeber, sometimes you go through some rough times in life, but you have a whole 50+ years ahead of you. What doesn't kill you only makes you stonger.

Word, remember when I had that talk with you Tom when you were down? I told ya bein a 29 year old virgin wasnt THAT bad.But when I bought you that prostitute that took your virginity you were a happy camper!.

nino418 · 08-27-08, 02:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 91LS 3.5

Word, remember when I had that talk with you Tom when you were down? I told ya bein a 29 year old virgin wasnt THAT bad.

Damn corrie, i told you that ugly ass legend wasnt gonna get you any ass... i don't care if you have a v12 under the hood. Busted ass legend= shining your own pole until your 29.

cfprezskid · 08-27-08, 02:30 AM

GOD DAMN WYATT!!!! i can only imagine what it was like to be that way, i thought that when bad shit happens to me i have it bad, man keep your head up strong, dont do that shit anymore, i am PRETTY DAMN SURE i speak for the WHOLE forum when i say we would have missed you.. all of us.. keep your head up, if you spend 30 days in the pen, read like a mug, stay away from the weed and the drank, although it may seem like you definetly need some, think of other things, your family, what we all would do, etc.. im glad your okay and thank god you didnt pass, life only gets better from here on out, like i said keep your head up, dont let shit get you down, and god damnit if you do get down, go open your windows, and open that TURBO'D BITCH UP!!!

keep up mayne!

much love

ian

08-27-08, 12:50 AM	#1 (permalink)
AustinForester AWDriftin yo moms whip Join Date: May 2006 Location: Austin tx Posts: 11,995 Car 1: 2005 Subaru Forester 2.5 XT Turbo! iTrader: (15)	I am blessed to be posting this today Ok, this is a bit of a long read, and it might be a little depressing, so if you dont know me, or dont care about me, GTFO and stop reading now. I am only writing this as a way to expel some of my thoughts. Some of you might know about my legal issues ive been dealing with for the last 2 years, thats not the issue, its part of it, but a small part. After months and months of pressure from probation to go to meetings, make payments, go to counseling, it began to build up. On top of that, i picked up a extra work load at work, and im not getting paid anymore for it. I cant hang out with my good friends from highschool anymore cause all they do is smoke weed and drink beer every night. I couldnt be around that. Well on monday, i failed a UA at probation, for the 2nd time. I smoked some weed last week to releave some stress, now that i look at it, i would have been better off just going and pullin one out instead lol. well after my PO telling me theres a good chance im looking at jail time, or going to inpatient treatment. I kinda lost it. everything seemed null and void. i did not want to be here anymore. Not cause i cant smoke weed, not cause im in debt, not cause the extra work load, not cause of the friends i do not have. But all of them combined. yesterday, at 11:45am i sat down, smoked a cigarette, and started writing. To my mom, my caregiver, my sole provider. i was writing a suicide note. I finished my cigarette, walked inside, rigged up an electrical cord across my door way, then tried to hang myself. After putting the loop around my neck, and slouching down on it. i blacked out. I woke up, 45 minutes later when my mom came home from lunch, soaking wet, in my bed, with different boxers on. I do not know what happened after i blacked out, i cant help but thing someone or something, made that cord snap. someone made me get in bed. someone was looking out for me, so meone or something saved my life. My best friend died on 7.2.2004 after being hit by a car. I cant help but think it was him that saved my life. My mom is helping me get some counseling, cause apprently there are some depression issues we havent seen. I do not want to try it again, if it didnt work the first time, its proof im meant to be here for something. Other than my mom, and my boss, i havent told anyone else about this. But opening up a bit helps alot, and i know my AL.com friends will always be there for me. cheerish every minute of your life, Since yesterday at 11:45am, i know i have began to appreciate life. Take a drive with the windows down, no radio, listen to nature. Go sit in the park, listen to yourself. I regret holding everything in until it bursted like it did yesterday. i will most likely be entering a 30day inpatient treatment program, which i think is stupid for just weed, but apparently if i cant not smoke while on probation, i might as well have a problem, and if treatment keeps me out of the pokey, i welcome it with open arms. Thank you for reading, i love you all __________________ Dirty Legends meet pics Wanna See Legend meet history?CLICK HERE

08-27-08, 01:00 AM	#3 (permalink)
l4zy415 FRISCO LEGEND BABY!!!! Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Frisco Cali Posts: 5,123 Car 1: 1988 Acura Legend Sedan iTrader: (6)	Wow man, broke my heart for what you did. I think your friend that passed away (RIP) saved you. You gotta live life to the fullest. You only live once. Please, for the love of God, don't do that again. If you need to talk about something, we got your back. I know your a strong person with a strong heart, you should be happy man. Keep it real mayne. From one love to another, brotha. __________________ ______________________________ 18" Limited 341 Chrome Rims/\Matador Red Paint/\Weapon R - Secret Weapon Intake/\LED Bright White Dash Lights/Floor/\Kenwood KDC-X590 Excelon Mp3 Deck/\Ford Taurus Coin/Cup Holder/\2 12" Kickers/\1200 Watt Sony XM-2200GTX 2-Channel Xplod Amp/\2 Rockford Fosgate Capacitors/\Power Acoustic Capacitor/\Clear Rear Turn Signal/\Reverse Glow Gauges/\Swapped 88' Headlights to 89'-90'/\JDM Rear Chrome Trim/\Stromung Muffler/ Soon To Come: Rebuild Motor and 5-MT Swap

08-27-08, 01:03 AM	#4 (permalink)
Vic Cardenas Registered User Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Sandy, Utah Posts: 1,208 Car 1: 91 Coupe L wht/blk Car 2: 91 Coupe LS wht/blk iTrader: (9)	Keep your head up man. It will only be better after you're out of trouble. I was in the same situation when I was 18. I was on probation and I failed a UA. I was looking at some serious time and a loooooong extention of probation. Long story short I got lucky. I went to the can a few times after that but nothing serious. Just keep your nose clean and eventually all this shit will go away. Pay off your debt as best as you can and you'll be much happier. I've never been to a rehab but if it's anything like jail then books, books, books are your friend. Before you know it you'll be out. __________________ Modifications: Custom Cold Air Intake, Telion's Type I Stage 2 Chip, Blackend Engine Damper, TB Coolant Bypass, Custom made three point strut brace , EGR Block Plate, Brembo Rotors, EBC Greenstuff pads, Goodridge SS brake lines. 215/45 Nexen n3000's on 17X7 Enkei Evo6's. Carbon Fiber Hood, Auto Climate Control Swap (fully functional), McCulloch 5700k HID's, Alpine 8080 alarm, Moonroof Tilt, F1 Clear Corners, Clear Bumper Lights mod, 160mph cluster, Interior LED swap, Redout Taillights.

08-27-08, 01:04 AM	#5 (permalink)
Escobar Born to get cake Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Toronto Posts: 155 Car 1: 5 spd 93 L Sedan iTrader: (3)	I don't know you or your story dude. But I'm sure glad you're still here man. Nothing is worth giving up your life. Tragedies in our life mold us to become what we are. Hang in there man, all of these shall pass, and maybe you can look back at it one day and laugh about it with your friends. __________________ "When he drops take his glock and I'm swayze"

08-27-08, 01:34 AM	#9 (permalink)
whyteLegend Chicken & Dumplins Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Upstate Posts: 3,062 iTrader: (14)	And here I am thinking I am having the worst day.. Remember this Wyaat life is a journey not a destination.. __________________ Click for Deep Discounts http://4450488.shopwize.com FS/Trade: JDM KA7 Headlights & Door Switch, heated seat switch 91-95 Sedan fender,3.5 RL HEADS , INTAKE MANIFOLD & FUEL RAILS , http://www.acura-legend.com/vbulleti...htside-124468/ http://www.acura-legend.com/vbulleti...ad.php?t=95844

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08-27-08, 01:50 AM	#12 (permalink)
nino418 Type 2ed Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: CT Posts: 946 Car 1: Green 1992 Acura Legend LS Coupe 5 speed MT type II swapped Car 2: 2002 Honda CR-V EX iTrader: (3)	dude, whoa. Im glad your ok. remeber, sometimes you go through some rough times in life, but you have a whole 50+ years ahead of you. What doesn't kill you only makes you stonger. __________________ ~Nino Mods: sr5guy stage 3 chipped, BOMZ intake, light weight harmonic balancer, Type II heads, Type II cams, Type II ecu, Type 2 brake calipers, iggy seat cover mod, OEM spoiler added, 12" Kicker sub, 1300 watt MTX amp, Pioneer headunit, infinity 6x9's. sig by bboarder711