vince

From http://forums.motorsport.com/forums...&threadid=49715

In a bid to restore credibility to Formula 1 in the wake of the Austrian GP fiasco, the FIA has cancelled the Monaco GP and will instead lock 10 of the leading F1 drivers in a house for a couple of weeks to compete for a big prize as part of a new reality TV show, "Little Bernie". The chosen 10 are: Michael Schumacher, Rubens Barrichello, David Coulthard, Juan Pablo Montoya, Takuma Sato, Jacques Villeneuve, Jenson Button, Nick Heidfeld, Eddie Irvine and Heinz-Harald Frentzen. Kimi Raikkonen was hotly tipped to go in too until someone at the TV company was told that Kimi wasn’t a girl.

Day 1: Even on the way into the house there's trouble as Michael veers sharp left, nearly knocking Juan Pablo into the wall. Jacques and Takuma actually miss the door altogether in the ensuing logjam, but eventually they all make it into the house.

Day 2: There's concern in the bathroom that the Michelin users' soap appears more worn that that of the Bridgestone users. Meanwhile Jacques seems to using most of the hair care products, to the annoyance of his housemates.

Day 3: First round of evictions pits Jacques against Michael. Michael is voted out but, at the last moment, Rubens heads out of the door instead, thus allowing Michael to stay. Rubens is greeted by what sounds like 60,000 fans screaming and jeering at him, but turns out to be Davina McCall speaking normally.

Day 4: Things go wrong in the garden waterslide, when Nick goes too fast and collides with an unsuspecting Takuma, pitching the hapless Japanese clean out of the Little Bernie house complex. He is thus out of the game.

Day 5: David and Jenson come up for eviction. David claims to still be the top Brit, but then he is voted out. "It was a minor blip," grumbles David about Jenson's victory.

Day 6: In a task set for the housemates by Little Bernie, they are told they can all have some extra supplies if they can sit down and agree about something. They fail miserably.

Day 7: Juan Pablo and Jenson are the eviction nominees. Jenson is eventually voted out after a close battle, but has been found placement on another reality TV show for a couple of years.

Day 8: As a special treat for the drivers, Little Bernie allows a woman to enter the house. She tries to chat them up, but unfortunately years of Page Ranking doublespeak mean they are immune to her charms: "I suppose dinner would be agreeable but the team will decide whether it is a good idea or not. A three-course strategy would seem like a good option, but we will have to wait and see." Except Eddie of course, who follows the woman out of house and doesn’t seem particularly bothered about leaving the game.

Day 9: Juan Pablo v Nick in the latest evictions. Nick is voted out after some tactical block voting from a bloke named Ralf, who is currently getting all the testing done at Williams.

Day 10: The housemates get some extra supplies after a talent contest. Heinz-Harald wins for his David Duchovny impression, even though he wasn't aware there was a contest going on at the time.

Day 11: Juan Pablo v Michael in the latest evictions. Juan Pablo is voted out after some tactical block voting from a bloke named Ralf, whose Williams is now stuck in the gravel and needs some help on set-up.

Day 12: Jacques and Heinz-Harald confront Michael around the dinner table after some scraps of paper and pens are found under Michael's bed. He protests his innocence, which is good enough for Little Bernie. He stays, much to the annoyance of Jacques in particular.

Day 13: All three candidates are up for the win on the final day. Incredibly, they all post the same number of votes. Jacques, however, is disqualified when a banned substance is found in his hair. Heinz-Harald is declared the winner after a recount, and goes on to release a single and feature in a TV makeover programme.

Day 14: "Next year!" promises Jean Todt.

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NSXNEXT

lol, That finish was FUBR. If I was Rubens, I would quit. Team orders should be banned. Although he did pass Rubens, I would have to say that Schumacher has some class. If hadn't given the first place trophy to Rubens, everyone would hate him. I'll be tuning in for the next Gran Prix.

claus44

Schuy is not only a great driver, but also a great politician

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