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In composition class, we had to write this paper on something we could describe well, and i well, i chose my legend. You guys think its an 'A' paper??

Legendary​
Described by some as a myth, a story, a folktale, a saga and a tradition, a legend can be expressed in many different ways. For me the Legend is an everyday part of life; my car. A symbol of power, precision, excellence and passion, the badge my car proudly displays on its front is a symbol in itself of these things, Acura. From a forward stance I can always feel the power and the beauty which are so modestly displayed before me. A car, that from both look and touch, conveys the true meaning of the word Legend.​

As I walk up to my car the first striking feature that I notice is its exterior stance. Pure Olympic white that is as bright as the snow on a sunny day covers the entire car. Purity and strength are things that come into my mind when I see this color as it vividly enhances the lines that make the shape of the body strong and powerful. A wide and low stance gives the car a look like a crouching tiger ready to strike its prey. At total peace with the world around it, the Legend stands strong. Bronze tinted glass like the eyes looking out upon the world, just like the tiger; watch me as I make my way to the driver side door. I open the door handle lifting up as I feel its cool touch against my skin making me realize that this is not something living; although it appears it is.​

I open the door entering into an entire other world or scent and touch. The scent of leather and air freshener escapes from the confines. I slide into the seat as it molds itself to my body, accepting me into the car. The door closes and the world around me is now silent. Security and beauty overcome me as I peer out through the windshield. The world looks differently from inside with its now bronze tint and glow. The tan interior is warming and gives me a sense of comfort and peacefulness while the gauges and instrumentation offer a different feel. I trace my hand over the real wood that is now warm from the sun beating in through the windows. I rest my hands on the steering wheel which is rough in some spots due to the worn leather still the wheel feels strong and solid.​

The comfort and peacefulness often mask the true being beneath. I pull a shiny key from my pocket and insert it into the ignition switch. I start the car and I am overcome with the sound of the now alive engine. The gauges move and respond with my touch on the accelerator pedal as I push it down lightly. At idle, nothing can be heard. An illusion that the beast is sleeping is awoken by the press of a pedal. The Legend is now alive. The feel and touch of everything has now changed.​

A myth, a folktale, a saga, a Legend; it is what I own and what I drive. My car is an extension of who and what I am. From its presence to its touch and feel, this car is a symbol of power, precision and excellence. Crafted by the hands of man, it is now driven by mine and will be for many years to come. This is my car; this is my Legend.​
 

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emayex.com
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hmm well i'm a writer so i might be too critical but a lot of your sentences were clunky and there were some other grammatical/spelling errors. I honestly think you'll get a B in it's current form. If you still haven't turned it in yet, I can clean it up for you.


having said that, i think it describes the legend very nicely and i enjoyed reading it
 

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emayex.com
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Here's my version

1990Legend_LS_5spd said:
Legendary​
Described as a myth, a story, a folktale, a saga, or a tradition, a legend can be expressed in a multitude of ways. For me, the Legend is an everyday part of life; my car. A symbol of power, precision, excellence and passion, the badge my car proudly displays on its front stands for all four of these and more. That badge boldly reads: Acura. Standing in front of my car, I can always feel the power and the beauty which are so modestly displayed. A car, that from both look and touch, conveys the true meaning of the word Legend.​

As I walk up to my car the first striking feature that I notice is the exterior statement. Sparkling Olympic white paint that is as bright as the snow on a sunny day covers the entire car. Purity and strength are things that come to mind when I see this color as it vividly enhances the lines and shape of the body to look strong and powerful. A wide and low stance gives my car the presence of a crouching tiger ready to strike pounce on its prey. At total peace with the world around it, the Legend stands strong. Bronze tinted glass, just like the eyes of a tiger looking out upon the world, watch me as I make my way to the driver side door. I open the door handle, lifting up as I feel the cool touch against my skin, making me realize that this is not something living; although it appears to be.​

I open the door entering into an entirely different world of scent and touch. Fumes of leather and air freshener escape from the cabin into the world I came from. I slide into the seat as it molds itself to my body, accepting me as the driver. The door closes and the world around me is now silent. Security and beauty overcome me as I peer out through the windshield. The world looks differently now with its bronze tint and glow. The tan interior is warming and gives me a sense of comfort and peacefulness while the gauges and instrumentation offer a different feel. They hint at the feeling of power. Dismissing the thought, I trace my hand over the wood pieces that are now warm from the sun beating in through the windows. I rest my hands on the steering wheel, which is rough in some spots due to the worn leather. Despite these minor descrepencies, the wheel still feels strong and solid.​

The comfort and peacefulness often mask the true being lurking under the hood. I pull a shining key from my pocket and insert it into the ignition switch. I start the car and am overcome with the sound of the now alive engine. The gauges move and respond with my touch on the accelerator pedal as I push it down lightly. At idle, nothing can be heard. An illusion that the beast is sleeping is awoken by the press of a pedal. The Legend is now alive. The feel and touch of everything has now changed.​

A myth, a folktale, a saga, a Legend; it is what I own and what I drive. My car is an extension of who and what I am. From its presence to its touch and feel, this car is a symbol of power, precision and excellence. Crafted by the hands of man, it is now driven by mine and will continue to be for many years to come. This is my car, this is my Legend.​
I made significant changes in every paragraph except the last, which only had 2 changes. There are a lot of minor things, like commas and tiny words like "the". There are also entirely re-written and re-worded sentences. If you don't want to use my version, but want to use pieces of it, I highly suggest scanning over each sentence 1 by 1 and comparing it so you don't miss any of the minor corrections that don't change the overall sentence. I liked it a lot more as I took it piece by piece, the amount of detail is great! I don't mean to boast, but with my corrections im certain you'll get an A. I don't give myself credit for that though, you had a really good paper to start with, I just cleaned it up. The difference between an A and a B is just that....

great paper!
 

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Discussion Starter #5
very good job. thanks a lot! i havent really written anything in a long time, well, since high school back in 05'. Thanks for the ideas and better structure.
 

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emayex.com
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No problem man, looking it over it's clear you have some talent and definitely a lot of passion for your car. I write about 3 or 4 times each week, probably around 12,000 words per week....so im eager to help others out with stuff like this. Looking back, theres a few errors in mine, I'm going to go back and fix it now.


edit: changed about 4 more things and added a new sentence that fills in a blank spot you left.

everytime i read it again, i like it more and more, this paper is truly an ODE to the LEGEND
 

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Discussion Starter #7
haha, alright man. no biggie, i dont think shes that harsh on grading anyway. from some of the other stuff i have turned in ... lol, makes me wonder how you can find these types of errors and she cant
 

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It was pretty interesting, but with grammar mistakes, and sometimes weird sentences which are not suitable for essays, but anyway you wrote better than me, because I can only say my thoughts but I have troubles with writing and had to use essay writer online for getting nice mark. I found professionals there who can write me what I need and it was always with nice quality. I had no choise and I hope I could write by my own when I will improve myself.
 

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It was pretty interesting, but with grammar mistakes, and sometimes weird sentences which are not suitable for essays, but anyway you wrote better than me, because I can only say my thoughts but I have troubles with writing and had to use for getting nice mark. I found professionals there who can write me what I need and it was always with nice quality. I had no choise and I hope I could write by my own when I will improve myself.
Hello. My name is Michael and I am writer with 10 years experience. My hobby is reading and traveling. I am working at essaypro. We are a young writers service, our small team is united by one goal - the success of our customers!
 
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