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because i can.
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So my local newspaper's website has this "Ask The Expert" section where locals can ask local experts and business owners questions and advice on varying issues.

Well, today I noticed that there was a Funeral section. I really just HAD to ask him something...

So here's what I sent him:

Question for the Funeral Expert said:
Hello,

What is the most cost effective way to dispose of a loved one after death (I don't feel like I'm using the right terminology here, but that's the best I can think of). I have instructed my family to spend as little as possible on me after my passing. A dumpster or a bonfire would suffice as they are typically easy to do with little to no overhead, but I fear there are some state laws that require that SOMEBODY be paid after a death. Is there anywhere that disposes of the body free of charge? Like how Wal*Mart will gladly take used motor oil for free? I want to be remembered in death just how I was in life...cheap, cheap, cheap and laughing all the way to the bank...except this time my bank will be in Heaven. What do you suggest my family do to best fulfill my final wishes? Thank you for your time.
Believe it or not, I have yet to receive an answer...

Just thought I'd randomly share....but just for the record...this really IS a semi-serious question....I really have told my family to dump me off in the cheapest way possible (bury in the desert, concrete shoes off the pier, etc.)...in fact, if anyone ever comes around asking you to identify my body...say its NOT me and you've never seen that body before...I'd hate for my family to get stuck with unpaid medical expenses that the county would for sure go after....

Here's the "Expert" Link btw in case anyone wants to roam around with their own questions:

Ask The Experts : Ventura County Star
 

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Hmm

Wow I hope they respond to that

It is fairly stupid to have to pay so much just for a burial or even cremation.
I know here in Oklahoma there is a medical dumb that you are allowed to take your loved ones body to, but only as long as the medical examiners know that you died, and were not murdered, so there is money to be paid still.

haha

Just be buried in the backyard with some lime, and no one will ever know =D
 

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Well, you can get cremated and then they don't have to pay for it and the funeral home will keep you. They wouldn't five me my mom until the life insurance paid and they filled the papers out wrong, so I didn't get her for about 2 months.
 

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me and a co-worker we just talking about how expensive it is when you die.

we decided we are gonna go into the funeral business.

Po Mans Funerals
"We'll put you in the ground dirt cheap"

we just rent the coffins, switch to a wooden box upon burreal and burry them all standing up to save space.

ill make millions i tell ya!
 

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Dude..

My mom wants to be pushed off into our local lake burning as she floats

but im sure a fisher would have something to say bout it

sorry bout your mother, though death is a serious issue, money should not be the main priority in someones death

=[
 

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me and a co-worker we just talking about how expensive it is when you die.

we decided we are gonna go into the funeral business.

Po Mans Funerals
"We'll put you in the ground dirt cheap"

we just rent the coffins, switch to a wooden box upon burreal and burry them all standing up to save space.

ill make millions i tell ya!
Actually, you can rent coffins and then be switched into a cheap box for burial :rofl:
 

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wow you's all are goin to hell :lol:

I have a few people that I'd like to bury in my backyard that no one would miss......plus it makes for a good excuse to pour out a new concrete patio
 

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Ever thought about term life insurance?
Example: Primerica's term life ins cost $87 a month on average and has a payout of 300k when the person dies.

But like you said it's not free. And like Ymisoqt's story, sorry to hear it, there are still setbacks.

Wyatt's idea sounds genius except they'd probably comeback and haunt the crap outta you.:giggle:
 

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Well, my cousin was telling me about a relatively new type of burial that is called a Dusk to Dawn burial (I do believe) where there is no formaldehyde, metal coffin, or special action. You are simply loaded into a wooden coffin (like that of 1800s) and set into the ground, and the whole thing runs less than $3,000 and thats probably 1/3 the cost of just a metal coffin. When I go, I just want to be buried under a tree or by a lake on my property, no major fuss, just set me to take the dirt nap.
 

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My mom wants to be pushed off into our local lake burning as she floats

but im sure a fisher would have something to say bout it

sorry bout your mother, though death is a serious issue, money should not be the main priority in someones death

=[
Unfortunately the funeral homes are all for the money. The one that my mom went to was awful. I paid for a picture in the obituary and there wasn't one, then they didn't even post the second obit that was supposed to have the picture I didn't get in the first one and the memorial information. Then they totally messed up the memorial cards and didn't put all of the family on them. They tried to pressure me into having a funeral there which I didn't want to do. I had a memorial in the bar she liked to go to and hired a band and donated all of the money to the American Heart Association. They didn't treat me very nice after they found out I wasn't going to spend 6k on their funeral room. I had to deal with everything from Missouri and they were in Kansas and every phone call was about their money, then they would talk to me about the rest. So if you want a it done cheap or right or you want to spare your family from the funeral homes money grubbing little paws, pre plan everything. You can even pre pay.
 

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I believe the absolute cheapest way would be to donate your body to science. Then you become a med school's expense and not a burden on your family! This is what I was planning on doing, hopefully they'll use my body to do some research that will help the medical sciences along the way. If not that then cremation, I'm not one for burial. Although the "kiss my a$$" post had me rolling :rofl:
 

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Unfortunately the funeral homes are all for the money. The one that my mom went to was awful. I paid for a picture in the obituary and there wasn't one, then they didn't even post the second obit that was supposed to have the picture I didn't get in the first one and the memorial information. Then they totally messed up the memorial cards and didn't put all of the family on them. They tried to pressure me into having a funeral there which I didn't want to do. I had a memorial in the bar she liked to go to and hired a band and donated all of the money to the American Heart Association. They didn't treat me very nice after they found out I wasn't going to spend 6k on their funeral room. I had to deal with everything from Missouri and they were in Kansas and every phone call was about their money, then they would talk to me about the rest. So if you want a it done cheap or right or you want to spare your family from the funeral homes money grubbing little paws, pre plan everything. You can even pre pay.
I know exactly what you're talking about. I'm an underwriter for a life insurance company, and every couple of days a week I help take death claims calls to help the death claims department get claims paid quicker.

Every now and then, i'll get a call from a funeral home calling on behalf of the family so the family doesn't have to deal with the life insurance business transactions. Now when the funeral directors call in to file the claim, they always want to know the exact amount that will be paid out on the policy so they can use that amount to plan out the funeral costs. The problem is that if they find out that the insurance policy will pay out $10,000, they will plan a funeral costing $10,000, so we NEVER tell them the full amount of the policy. We'll have them tell US how much they're planning to spend, and we'll tell them whether the policy will cover it or not, but if we tell them everything, they'll use it all.

This way, the funeral home gets paid, and the family is guaranteed to get at least SOMETHING out of the policy rather than having the funeral home take it all.
 

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I know exactly what you're talking about. I'm an underwriter for a life insurance company, and every couple of days a week I help take death claims calls to help the death claims department get claims paid quicker.

Every now and then, i'll get a call from a funeral home calling on behalf of the family so the family doesn't have to deal with the life insurance business transactions. Now when the funeral directors call in to file the claim, they always want to know the exact amount that will be paid out on the policy so they can use that amount to plan out the funeral costs. The problem is that if they find out that the insurance policy will pay out $10,000, they will plan a funeral costing $10,000, so we NEVER tell them the full amount of the policy. We'll have them tell US how much they're planning to spend, and we'll tell them whether the policy will cover it or not, but if we tell them everything, they'll use it all.

This way, the funeral home gets paid, and the family is guaranteed to get at least SOMETHING out of the policy rather than having the funeral home take it all.
That is really good that you guys do that. The funeral home knew how much my mom's policy was for and they wanted me to spend every bit of it there, it was ridiculous. I ended up spltting what was left between my aunt who is on disability and myself and then giving my cousing what was left over. Then I went out and bought my Legend :) So my Legend is my last gift from my mom.

What about donating your body to that traving body show:giggle: Then everyone can look at your insides for years to come!
 

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Oh I've got quite a few life insurance policies actually hahaha...

Lets just say, Im worth WAAAAAAAY MORE dead than I am alive!!
i don't want your insurance money. but can you will that G1 to me.
SO I CAN LOWER IT!!! just playin gabe.
 
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